By Alyssa Noe

I really don’t even know where to begin. The ridiculous Jets news that’s been circulating the past year is hilarious. It’s come to the point where, as a Jets fan, the only thing I resort to now is to just laugh.

Are you kidding me Sanchez? I’m sure we’ve all seen the video. It’s all over the place and for damn good reason. SO many pulls at Sanchez could be made and I’m going to ramble on about every.single.one.

Let’s start with the most obvious of them all. WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD A NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE QUARTERBACK LET A VIDEO LIKE THAT BE PUT ON ANY SORT OF SOCIAL MEDIA?!?!?!? If his lame attempt at partying was participated in the privacy of his own home then go ahead Mark, rage on! Instead, him and his 2 girlfriends released, whatever the hell they were doing, to the public. He has absolutely no excuses. Even if one of his girlfriends did it without telling him, sucks for you bro! Maybe you should party with your pants on next time.

On a positive note, I see what Sanchez is doing. I’m sure he sees the end of the line for his professional career coming. That light at the end of the tunnel is getting extremely bright and he’s freaking out just as much as the next guy would.

So why not? While he still plays on a national level let’s have 7 girlfriends at once. We can dance with our asses out and smoke E-cigarettes ‘til the sun comes up. Because once he’s playing backup behind Geno and slowly fades into the world the rest of us live in, he’ll be married to an overweight woman named Lolita who makes the world’s best chimichangas.

A girl could only dream.

I don’t know what wins though, Rex’s bizarre tattoo ordeal, or this. But hey, I’m not going to be so hard on the kid. He’s just being a normal 26 year old right? My question is, where’s the party at? Last time I was at a gathering with 3 people I watched Star Wars and left at 9 o’clock. Props to him for killin’ it with very little resources. Well he does have those 2 girls with him which definitely implies what you’re thinking, which, you know, good for him. But with my perspective, it all just looks way lame. I know girls across the world would slap me for ever even saying this, but I wouldn’t waste my time partying with Mark Sanchez. To be honest, I’d probably spill a drink on him and tell him to get his shit together.

I don’t know what’s next. I couldn’t even begin to put together a future scenario. But I know my beloved Jets won’t disappoint.

All kidding aside, everyone should calm down about the video. It’s hilarious and absolutely made my day. I’m just messing with him because, well, it’s Mark Sanchez. He plays the punching bag role now-a-days and this just added fumes to the fire. Thanks man.

I mean at least he’s having some good, innocent fun and not out murdering a dude a few blocks from his house.

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